a nightmare would be a life without you

Digging Through Some Really Old Chatlogs
Saturday, January 15, 2005 1:28 PM

I'm not exactly digging lah, but you get the idea. Kind of read this chat log from ages ago... And it's very sweet to think that there was once I talked so nicely to people. Haha. :) It's very amusing. It's like being told again that I can be that friendly and talkative and entirely chit-chatty because I was once like that.

Time sure flies. As in literally, I can see it flapping it's wings and soaring far far away from me. It's weird but it's kind of sad when you start missing people. People that you haven't talked to in ages. People who were once such close friends... People who played a part in my life. It's like I kind of start thinking, "Do they miss me too?"

I miss chatting with Jeremy online because he always seemed so ambitious and courteous. Heh! And he was always so quiet, letting me yammer away-away-away non-stop. In my whole life I've seen him only twice, but he seems like one of the best friends I've ever had. Haha. There were the tears and the sad times, but can't deny how fun and exciting talking to him was. Haha. And how good my grades became thanks to all that motivational talk about A1s! Woah... That's a pretty long time ago! I wonder how he's doing. He's like one of those primary school friends lor. Only thing we weren't from the same primary school.

And I miss PN and Stephie! (I know! I'm saying this again!) I really miss them loads! It's like I rarely hear from them anymore. Although I chat with PN and Stephie every once in a while (make that like a really long long time), it feels so sad and lonely to know we're growing up and not actually talking that much to each other when we once had all those radical ideas and all that great fun together... How I miss those days. Really really miss those days. Cliched as it may seem, I believe a lot of my self confidence came from them. I did so many crazy stuff with them! I mean, it was like we always did anything! All the entreprenuership stuff- selling our glu-pen (we made them ourselves by investing in pens and uhu-gluing the outside with different colours to resell. It didn't sell in the end though, one of the ideas that didn't work out), the Weirdos Digest (I have been harping on this since forever! We really sold them! And we always ran profits! Haha. Great fun!) and loads of webbie stuff! I bet without them, Primary school would be oh-so boring, with the 'b' in capitals. Actually, boring would be an understatement. It would be meaningless! Haha. I miss them! I wonder if they miss me too!

I miss the OBS people! Really. I didn't enjoy OBS only because of YJ lor! Although people usually tease me about that. It was really cool to be in Ubin with all those great leaders from Balestier Hill Sec and Northland! They were so hyper and they were always to-go. Nigel was so funny! I miss him lor! Both Vanessas were so interesting to chat with! I miss them! Siti was so sweet and enduring! I miss her! And Jing Long and the rest were always so so quiet yet without them something would always be missing! I miss them! OH! And OSWIND!!! Our Yeah-yeah-yeah man. Haha. He rocked! I miss him too! (Oh yea! He was like my dustbin ah!!! Always giving him my food I couldn't finish!) Oh and Kevin, the one who really acted rather big-shot. I remember evilly wanting to toothpaste him at night! Oh what fun. Miss him too though. Haha. And of course I really miss YJ. Best kayak partner ever! I mean I can't imagine anyone standing my inability to get in the kayak lor! Haha. I was a pain! And he actually took my crap lack of kayaking ability! Haha. Don't really keep in contact with him or any of them anymore... Qinyi- miss her to bits, spent the night chatting with her during sentry duty. She was really a nice girl lor. I think she was one of the girls I felt really close to. Really miss her. But I don't contact them, not anymore. I just don't know when to call them and if I'll bother them. Stuff like that. And I'm not someone who usually calls people alot. (Only call Wei Sheng lahh! Cos' I'm pian xin! Must be pian xin to my dearie what!) Oh well... Maybe after the O'levels!

I hope I can meet all of the people I miss before I go on to my tertiary education... And even if I don't, I hope I can meet them again and kinda talk to them like buddies!

Really lor. Missing people feels weird. There's no remedy to missing someone except to meet the person. Otherwise known as keep in touch. It's like a lifelong thing. You never stop missing people forever, because after all they are friends and the only way to stop missing is to see them again. So when people die, and when you can't see them again and you miss them, you're sick forever because until you see them again, there is no remedy... :( Feels kinda sad to think about it this way. Heh. I think I'm feeling a tad bit nostalgic today.

Anyway, missing people isn't the only thing I started doing since reading those chatlogs. Haha. I'm falling in love with my dearie all over again!!! Haha. It doesn't mean I don't love my dearie now lah. But falling in love and being in love is different! Falling in love is cute. Being in love is sweet. So now I'm falling and being in love at the same time! Haha. Chatlogs are so cute! :) Love my dearie! Haha. He's so cute lor! Haha. I miss my dearieeeee!

**carrie** (falling in love with my dearie all over again!)