a nightmare would be a life without you

On Floorball & Other Stuff
Saturday, April 23, 2005 2:23 PM

I had the yellow floorball stick! YAY! Hahaahah... :P And yes, THE YELLOWS ROCKED! Buwahahaha. Although we didn't win, we're still super-dee-duper lah!! Why?

Cos PEI PEI was so li hai! Her goal was really pretty! And because, we were all girls (and one Mr. Helmi) playing against power people with alot of stamina like... Kok-kok and Kenneth (I don't know whether to consider TY as one of them although he's biologically a guy).

I like floorball even though I'm not very good at it and I seriously lack stamina to run everywhere throughout the game! And I'm such a blur sotong lah! I actually hit the ball to the wrong side lor! AHHH! Haha. I STILL LOVE THE GAMMEEE even though I seriously suck at it! Ho. :) But it's fun!

And Mr Helmi's leaving us after next week! AWWW! Haha. He may be a tad bit lazeee like us students. But he's COOL lor. Sheesh. Alot of us are gonna miss him (and his flexibility).

Floorball totally tired me out. Also the CHEM/PHY practical test sucked big time. I didn't have time to complete and my results were all screwed. Must have contaminated my chem stuff and my physics results were like screwed!!! SCREWED!

I was so tired I fell asleep on my bed while reading something from five plus all the way to ten. (Now that makes up for a lot of lack of sleep) :X Heh.

I miss my dearie alot today. Alot more than usual. Wonder why. I vaguely remember dreaming of him during my 4 hour (sort of) nap. Can't remember what though.

Ahhh... He called. TELEPATHY! Shocking.

And on to other affairs of the blogging world. I suddenly realize I was VERY impressionable some years ago. Must say the whole xiaxue lashing out against funeral-evangelising-pastors kinda made me re-evaluate why I am a Christian. Of course I didn't do it because of her, I did it because I felt that I haven't really been compelled to follow the Christian ways for quite some time and (okay!) indirectly because reading many views (from the angry defensive Christian ones to the mellow explanations from Catholics and what not) I realize that as a Christian, I am sometimes very defensive like that too. And I shouldn't be! I mean it's exactly because we're human and make mistakes that we need something redeeming like religion. Hmm... Have I been following Christianity blindly? If I did, should I start understanding it more and finding out more about it instead of following that gut feeling?

I feel that the older I get, the more I come to doubt things. But the more I come to doubt things, the stronger my belief in something I once doubted. It takes a lot more to believe now, but its a lot stronger than when I easily believed. And I guess, if I want to return from my super long back sliding, I had better do only when I can maturely face religious issues, not feel offended and not lash back. I don't want to give a wrong impression about my religion if I ever return to it. I mean, I guess the main idea is. Until I can refrain myself and stuff and not generalize people and issues, I don't think I'd make a good Christian. And this is not an excuse hor! I seriously think that I do not want to be a stumbling block to my friends, my family and my loved ones.

I realize how much I may have misunderstood my daddy. Because I never realized I was believing something blindly that I forgot that God did say we had to respect our fathers. So it comes like a bolt from the blue, how I have tried to cling on to a religion without following it. :X Human error. Human fault. Human problem.

Jenny wawa is actually a sensible guy. He vandalized his desk with questions asking himself if his actions are a stumbling block to others and stuff like that. I guess thats what keeps him grounded.

Bottom line is, it isn't bad to evangelise... And nobody is against that. But overdoing it and not thinking that you're hurting others with those little actions shows little about the religion one is subscribing to... I need to re-evaluate how to improve myself. I should start to.

I'm so horribly stubborn... Hurt dearie alot of times I guess whenever the topic comes to religion and stuff because of my stubborn BLIND beliefs. How could I have not thought of this? How could I hurt others because I was too caught up with my own self centredness! Religion in my immature hands (and brains) is like so destructive.

I think as a kid, I am really confused. And I don't think enlightenment by peers is what I'm looking for. Bible studying without the propaganda sounds good. Anywhere I can get that? Hmm...

And please lah, all Christians who are TOO young and who get offended easily when people say things like you're forcing us to go church la-dee-dum. Don't read Dan Brown's books. Seriously. Unless you take a step back and read it as a FICTION BOOK, woahhh, you'll surely criticize it to bits one! Don't put yourself through the trauma lah! It's just fiction. Fiction HAS ALWAYS BEEN a pack of lies. Come on lah, your compo is fake too what! That's not lying meh? Hehe. Sometimes ah... Really, alot of us are really weird. I realize when I'm stuck on something stubbornly (like my religion) I tend to get defensive and when i do, I'm senseless and insensitive to others. Shouldn't be this way next time.

ANYWAY...

Dearie got his black guitar, his band has some good news, he did well for his tests and heck it, its a good day for him. :) Oh yeah, plus I miss him alot more than usual today. It IS his lucky day.

**carrie**