a nightmare would be a life without you

Noodles For Lunch
Sunday, May 29, 2005 3:11 AM

It's Saturday and since my Dad's at work and my Mom has stuff to do, my sis and I will have to settle for Instant Mee stuffed in the kitchen cabinet.
Just finished another 'Alphabet' in my Chinese O Level Revision Book. I'm all done with 'W' and its only 'X,Y and Z' left... Woo hoo! Another three letters can be done by today. All work and no play makes Carrie really insane so I decided to come online and pick off the dust from this moblog and get at writing another entry again.

I told Wei Sheng about my moblog and he was totally thrilled to know I was getting involved in it. He thought it was cool. Haha. We missed the Moblog Couple Competition! He even had the guts to say we should have entered and won. We win? Come on lah! He doesn't even blog! Actually, he just hasn't blogged since like the beginning of this year! :P He had the cheek to say, you can pretend you're me. Heh. Whatever it is, he thinks participating in a blog competition is cute.

I am still VERY bored. I have Chinese Revision Class later at 1pm at school which is a real bummer since I wanted to watch some TV in the afternoon, but I'm still cool with it. I don't really mind THAT much. Just feel very lazy and my whole body is like totally lethargic. Oh well... I gotta log off by noon so that I have sufficient time to get ready and all. So in the meanwhile till noon, I'll just be blogging for kicks. Haha. I just love long entries. I bet you don't! Reading long entries are such a chore sometimes!

Anyway, I was just thinking about something this morning... It kinda hit me hard in my head and (God forbid) I felt like a string of Chinese words plonk out from my brain. Arghh... It's about my sister's friend's alledged suicide attempt.

Just the other day, my sister's friend or rather classmate, not really a friend, decided to 'die'. My sister got to know about it when her 'close friend' Amos, called her and asked her rather frantically what to do. My sister was entirely blurred out. She then found out that Amos had been adding oil to the fire when a clique in her class was having 'internal strife'.

So guess what happened?

Yeah lor. Her classmate got hurt and was left 'friendless' by two of the most 'popular' girls in class. One of them is pretty, the other is rich, both of which hardly have much of brains or 'Yi Qi' (Loyalty). They catfight all the time, act like big shots and only know how to whine about everything.

I don't know why so many people want to be their friend but my sister's classmate got very upset because the two of them "don't want to friend" her anymore. (Sounds like a primary school spat right?)

That classmate then chatted to Amos (in the evening) and claimed she "wanted to die". Amos then panicked and called her and found that particular classmate sobbing her heart out.

Typically... He then panicked and called my sister for advice.

The first sentence in his phonecall to my sis was, "D***** commit suicide!"

My sis went, "Is she dead yet?"

I choked lah. Haha. That was SO funny. But the conversation gets stupid when Amos accused my sister about being unfeeling and everything about that classmate's condition. My sister just told him she didn't know what to do as well...

Okay.

The whole issue seems a bit... OUT OF PROPORTION.

For one thing, come on lah Amos, you're a big shot 'gansta' 'da-ge-da' in class flinging chairs and banging tables, defying teachers and shouting vulgarities, a little girl in class cries and you think she'll really commit suicide?

I don't know if thats plain ignorance or a lack of oxygen to his brain or it could be another possibility...

Whatever it is that was so gullible? I mean, like a little tears means death imminent?

I'm not being cynical, but its hard to believe a girl only 14 who like taking neoprints, who calls my sister a tomboy with no fashion sense, and one who flaunts herself everyday to want to die. She has too much to lose because from what I hear, friendship breakups are like soooo frequent.

I can't help but think she's just gaining sympathy. And if thats the case... I so do not have any respect for her.

Life is something precious! How can you throw it around? Its not yours for taking or flinging into one corner in a first place. If it could belong to anyone but God, it belongs to your parents and the people who care for you! So what if two popular girls with bimbotic tendencies don't wanna be your friend. Come on, open your eyes! How many others want to be yours! Its so turn offish to hear a young girl deciding that death is the only way out because of a few broken friendships. I can't believe she doesn't even respect the notion that life was not meant to be careless crushed because of a little set back. In her case, is that EVEN a SETBACK?

I don't know how many times I've talked about suicide. I've thought about it once or twice when the going got tough but I never expressed it to anyone because I know it would worry and upset people! And I know that my life wasn't mine alone! How could I decide for something that doesn't solely belong to me? There are so many people that will be hurt because I was foolish and weak for a moment! I don't know about girls these days, but I'm more conservative about life. I believe in it and I won't give it up unless its taken from me.

Outraged like a fluffed up feather duster,
carrie

P.S: Outraged like a feather duster sounds wrong but aiya, heck it.