I think my overly agitated response towards Jenny's ferocious detailed argumentative styled comments have brought me VERY WERY bad karma. Yes. I'm sure of it.

I don't believe in karma because I don't know what it actually really means, I think its like eye for an eye kinda thing, and er... I only know it builds up either way. Its like some point system. The more bad stuff you do, hohoho, the more you're in for it. So I guess the only explanation for my Friday bad luck spell must be BAD KARMA! (I think I'm just making an excuse for all the frustration I've had today.)

I didn't mean to go on a ranting spree again. Actually, this isn't exactly a ranting spree... Just detailing a bad day in the life of carrie.

Clara says that it is nothing to do with retribution and that its just my depressed negative pessimism dragging my whole day down. Ironically I tell her this all the time. So in other words I slapped myself in the face more than once today. I'll forgive myself for being temporarily disillusioned. I'll have to make an effort to get over this bad moody phase. Hope it goes away soon.

Whatever it is, here it goes. All out, not holding it in. Remove it from my system and live tomorrow like today never happened. Or something like that.
I expected today to be a wonderful day. Unfortunately strange events plummet me into depths of negativity today. :X First was my right contact lens. It broke. THIS IS THE SECOND PAIR! And I have never in my life broken TWO contact lenses (the right side too!) within two months! I mean! I've always been so careful with them... And the thing is, this has never happened until I got my new box of lenses from another shop so I was REALLY frustrated.

Because of that ran a little off schedule. Reached the bus stop at the same time I always do everyday. Seems like I missed the bus. And the next bus which would be the only bus that I could take to make it in time for school was late or crashed or GOD knows where it went! The bus came ten minutes later than usual. Horrible! And I was late.

Things wouldn't be so bad if only I was third time lucky. Unfortunately I wasn't. I was third time unlucky. I ALMOST got not only detention BUT ALSO an offense form. It was a miracle I spotted a mistake the councilliors made! :C I hate councilliors who tick my name wrongly! I was booked for being late on the 1st of July when I clearly wasn't late at all! That totally made me upset. Unsettled me. I told them they made a mistake and they said they would clarify with my form teacher.

Yet when I reached class and the teacher came in... I asked my form teacher and she said no councillior had yet clarified with her about the late-coming issue. She confirmed with me I wasn't marked late at all and that it was possible the councilliors made a serious boo-boo.

Okay, that I let go, since I was innocent.

Then during recess, I thought, MAYBE, just MAYBE things would turn out okay for the rest of the day. BUT NOOOO. When I brought my recess back to class, TY was sitting in my chair. And being irritable (cos I was standing there for a long time) I snapped at him a little more snappishly than usual. Being TY he tried to jokingly attitude by kicking back from the chair and moving away.

HE KNOCKED OVER MY SACRED ORANGE JUICE! ARGH!

It dribbled ALL over my worksheets, the NEW ones too! And my table

.
I WAS FREAKING BURNING BUBBLING MAD.

I lost control for a moment. I was so frustrated, so lost, so irritated. I felt like nothing was going right today and THIS had to happen to make it worse.

I got so angered at everything (rather than at TY though) that I started punching his arm. I punched alot harder and with alot more strength than I usually do... And I was just raving mad. Insane. I HAD TO PUNCH SOMETHING. I HAD TO KICK SOMETHING. I FELT SO OVERWHELMED. I have never felt that much anger, as in this serious, in a long time. I don't even think I've ever been this furious ever!

Clara finally got me to cool down, and TY was apologetic and all... They helped me clean up my table and dry my worksheets and I stayed rather quiet albeit moody for the rest of lesson (mainly emaths which I don't really like anyway).

When I'm all calmed down then realization dawns.

I lost my tie.

FREAK!

And it all began again. The unending cycle of frustration thats stealing centre stage in my life today. Emotionally draining today has been. :C And one of the most violent ones too.
Good thing Clara and TY found out Kenneth found it. So all is safe and happy again! May Hendel's Chorus play in loops for awhile.

At least the day was partially salvaged.

Had detention which was one hour of being at peace with myself... I talked to an old friend, had a bit of joking, shared old times... Haha. Things worked out.

Thank God Clara was there for me, cheering me up, calming me down. Thank God TY wasn't angry with me for hitting him for spilling my orange juice. Thank God Kenneth was willing to listen.

Oh my God. Today is just one of those cursed VOODOO days. I don't know if theres someone cursing me or something!

Quoting Kenneth, "Give you a tip. If the day totally sucks, sleep early, end the day and look forward to tomorrow."

He's right. Clara is right. Shall hug my bolster and sleep soon. Nothing can get worse. Tomorrow will be just fine.

Faith in tomorrow,
carrie